So this beautiful girl posts a picture on the social media and you just can’t help but wonder at this creation that has graced your screen. The tall dark and broad chested guy is difficult to get out of your head. His six packs is very alluring. You are ready to just try your luck to get noticed by this person and per chance they could share your feelings and you can start a relationship and be called the most luckiest person in the neighborhood all because you have got a star boy or girl by your side.
But chill first. We all want to be in league with a beautiful person, we want the admiration. We want all the “Awwwwwn” and “God When?” But do you know that all that glitters is not gold? And do you know that apart from beauty or physical features, we should look at other things before getting into a relationship with someone?
It is normal for you to say, “please free me, I want a fine person.” But calm down first and check the ground, so you will not come and be Mr or miss anonymous that want your story to be shared in order to find solutions to your problems. Why should you check the ground first before shooting your shot?
1. To Ascertain The Degree Of Alignment In Your Core Values And Beliefs:
This is the most underrated point for some persons when they decide to choose a partner or settle with someone. However, this seemingly unimportant point is the reason a number of persons tend to pack up few months after getting involved with someone.
You need to ask yourself, “does this person believe what I believe? Do we share the same values?” You do not want to get involved with a person who is not honest or does not believe in honesty meanwhile you do. When your values do not align, there is no way a relationship is going to work. If you see someone who you fancy but do not seem to share the same values, for both your sakes you should move on and begin something with someone else.
Unlike first world countries where it does not matter where anyone comes from, so long as the parties involved care enough for each other, they can decide to settle together. But not so in the African society. There are certain persons who after sharing everything with each other and then make plans to make a forever commitment to each other, on getting to their parents, they discover that they cannot go ahead with their plans because of where they come from.
There are some African parents who would never accept their children marrying from a particular background. This is why it is necessary to check these things so you do not end up having problems arising from having to go against parents’ wishes.
3. Health Factor:
Before giving your heart away, you must understand there is something called compatibility in terms of health and biology especially if you are looking at having a long term relationship that will involve becoming a family and perhaps having children.
Often it is heart-breaking that a couple is ready to live happily ever after with their children playing in the field, but then they get to the hospital just to get the final assurance they can be together only to get a shocker that it is not going to be possible. Because they are going to end up having sickly children, as a reason of their genotype. It is important that one knows everything about oneself so that when such sees someone they like, such a person will be able to know to a certain degree of they can be together.
Know this thing, do a check first before saying “hello angel! To someone’s daughter”.
4. To determine If You Can Live With The Person’s History:
It is important for people to realize that before you get to know an individual, that he or she had a past. Let’s say, you see someone you like, ask yourself will I be able to live with this person’s history? Because it is not enough to confess feelings. What if this person has a terrible past?
Will you be able to trust the present person you are seeing without constantly throwing their past in their face. If you know you will not be able to trust a person because of their past, regardless of your feelings, do not shoot your shot. Look away, eventually the feelings will go. It is inhumane to punish someone for their past especially if the person has changed or is making an effort to change.
I think by now we will all agree that feelings, beauty and even character in most cases is usually not enough when it comes to settling with someone especially in our society. Look well before you leap, check the ground first before shooting your shot.
Photo Credit: 234Star