Astonishing isn’t it? That you will hear a word like this “Testing?” What exactly are men testing? I will let you in on it.
Okay there is this thing some men do, I will not do a hasty generalization because there are a few people who do not subscribe to this mindset. Well let me continue. There are some men who believe in being with so many women before settling down with “the right one”, as they see fit. I mean why would you just break several hearts and finally think you can find the right one?
Well moving on, this is real, it is happening in our society that there are young guys who would boldly tell you they cannot get married to a lady without testing them. What then do they refer to testing and why do they do it. Below are a “few” testing aspects.
1. Prowess: This is the ultimate for most men, they will not marry a lady except they sleep with them. This is to determine how good the woman is in bed. According to them, the more bold and assertive the lady is, the better for them, and some other subjective reasons like that. Who wants a boring sex life or one they would not be satisfied with anyway? They say. But is it not a wonder that no matter the several sex styles pulled off by the lady, or how submissive and complying, they still move on and may probably settle with someone totally different. Why is that, you may ask? It is simple, people are not satisfied. Since sex is an addiction, one wants more, and wants to explore. It takes discipline for a man to settle with one lady.
2. Fertility: This particular point often times top the list. Most African men go about the testing to see the lady that will be fertile enough to carry their seed. So they move from one lady to another. Often, they settle for the one who is pregnant for them, not necessarily the one they love. They say what does love have to do with anything? But in situations where the man has a fertility problem he keeps moving around testing and thinking the problem is with the ladies, not knowing he is with the problem. This often leads to frustration if the man does not swallow his pride to go do a check-up on himself.
3. Kitchen Skills: We all know the popular saying that the way to a man’s heart is through the stomach. I wonder how many people still believe this. Anyway, some men go the extra mile telling every lady they meet to cook for them. You hear them ask a lady on first encounter if she can cook, and then the proceed to tell them they would love to eat their food. From there they judge whether the culinary skills of the person is above or below par. It becomes like a work for them. It is a mindset thing that they must settle with someone who can cook. If the person cannot cook then definitely she is off their list.
The problem here is, most often who they settle with may win their stomach but not their heart. Since cooking is a survival skill it is well advised that the man in question know how to cook his own meals so as to be a proper judge of the kind of woman he wants to marry.
Besides, if you clearly love an individual, what he or she can do at the moment should not be a problem. If they can cook, fine if they cannot cook but are willing to learn, you are there to help. If they are not willing to cook, well, that is why you are there as the man. It is no taboo to cook at home. Relationship, marriage after all is about understanding and covering up for the inabilities of our partners.
4. Character: Some men jump from one woman to another in search of “the perfect character”. Though in truth, this might seem reasonably noble enough to hold dear while on the jumping ship cruise. But it isn’t ideal. Yes, men go into several relationships with the excuse that the previous relationships lacked the character they needed. But most often, people do pretend if they realise this is the character you need or are in search of.
And then when you eventually settle with them, they unleash hell on you.
However, love is not enough in quantifying who to finally settle with, but should be one of the reasons if not the most important reason one must marry, then character. Let it be that the character of who you want to get involved with is in sync with yours. That is why it is important to have what you are looking for first in your mind, so that when once it appears before you, you can identify it.
Now these are the reasons why men change relationships like clothes, do you think they are enough reasons why it should hold valid?