Are you in a relationship, and you are having doubts, wondering if it is just you over thinking; and you are beginning to see yourself as insecure because you do not seem to trust your partner anymore? Is there a feeling of dishonesty with each conversation and each act? Is it a feeling and you are not sure? Well, this article tells about the signs that will suggest to you if your partner is not totally honest. This way, you will stop assuming and then take the bulls by the horns by asking the necessary questions to clarify your doubts.
1. The “if” factor: when and at any given time you converse with your partner and they begin to say “if we don’t workout”, “here is this, here is that”, that is a sign that there is a plan B. Ask yourself, “why would they even think about the relationship not working when you are both committed to it?” One can only say this if they begin to loose interest in the relationship
2. The “ex factor”: Have you ever been in a relationship where a partner is still making their “ex” their best friend? They constantly seek their opinions and their “ex” are the first person they run to. When asked they could say they cannot part ways with their former partner and that they are just friends. Watch out, there could be a little bit of feeling lingering.
3. The “password”: if two persons are involved, they should each have access to each other’s phones. Not so they can confirm if they are faithful or not. It is far from that; it is a sign that “I trust you, you trust me, we can trust each other”. If one is not open enough to share passwords. That is a sign.
4. The “Notifications”: Have you seen a situation whereby a partner jumps at the beep of their phone. They hurry immediately to grab their phone when a message enters and seem a little paranoid if you get hold of the phone before them. Worse! Sometimes, they turn off their message notifications so that you do not get to know when they receive a message or not; be at alert!
5. Another is the “sneaky little calls”: If there is nothing to hide. Why do you leave your partner to go take your calls outside or in another bedroom. It is understandable if it is a relationship with children, and the call is a business one that requires a sense of decorum. But a situation whereby children are not involved, why hurry up to go pick the call somewhere else? That is a glaring sign.
6. Here is another tip, inconsistencies: It is always advisable to watch out for this. When someone says one thing and they are doing another. They say they are going to work, but somehow they are at the mall. The Saturday extra work for some reason began because the boss said they had to do more. These things matter. If you find your partner saying one thing and doing another, there is need to pay attention.
7. The “glaring paranoia and anxiousness”: How will you feel when you open the door, and your partner jumps up. They are all sweaty. Or you arrive the house earlier than expected and they are all over you with the questions like. What are you doing here early? Are you not supposed to be at work? I did not expect you here. Then they begin to look from you to their right and then to the left. When you find your partner behaving that way, look around too and ask them, is there something you are hiding or keeping away from me?
8. Another is “defence mechanism”: Anyone who has something to hide, will always think that every question directed at them means an accusation or a form of attack. So you will hear them giving rude comments to simple statements or questions. You will find out that you cannot easily have a conversation because they are always on the defensive, building walls that are so difficult to climb.
9. Another glaring sign is “irritability”: You ever been with someone who is difficult to please? Every step you take annoys them, every sound you make displeases them. Staying with them is like walking on eggshells. You have to be very careful, if not they might fight you. These set of persons demand and demand and no matter how much you try to meet up to their demands, you can never please them. Check carefully, if you are involved with the “hard to please, irritable people”. They almost always have something to hide.
The last but not the least, is the fact that they give little or no effort to the growth of the relationship. Sometimes, you feel like you are the only one in the relationship. You give your time, your energy, your commitment and your resources to the relationship while your partner stays passive. Unwilling to do anything, reluctant to seek the progress and growth of both of you. This kind of thing, drains a person and may make a once calm person become a nag.
So when next you are having a feeling, cross-check it with these signs. You would find that you are not just assuming but are seeing the facts and you would be able to make your decisions based on these facts if your findings align with them.
photo credit: Bonobology