Yes, it might have caused great joy for parting parents when they felt they had sorted out everything about the wellbeing of their kids by adopting a co-parenting plan. However, it does not suffice to draft out a plan and direction of action. It has become increasingly necessary to equally look at what disadvantages may come with co-parenting.
Obviously, there are positive outcomes that co-parenting brings. Still, like a popular law of physics states, “to every action, there is equal and opposite reaction.” This is a pointer to the fact that some unwanted effects of co-parenting exist. In as much as it brings so relief to the dark situation of things, it also harbours some dangers.
Moving forward, this article will discuss some outstanding disadvantages and dangers that co-parenting bring. The goal is not to scare or intimate, but to bring everything into full light. This way, we will all be well informed about the pros and cons of what we are getting ourselves into.
Some Negatives Associated with Co-parenting
As stated above, there are fallouts from co-parenting. Some of these are acute and immediate while others are more chronic and remote. Thus, some of these negative effects will be highlighted in the sections below.
1. Co-parenting Breeds False Hope
Swallowing the bitter pills have a way of making one move on faster and learn to live with reality. However, with parents working together on co-parenting program this bitter pill might become less apparent to the children. The full realization that the parent are no longer together may not come as it should. Thus, a wishful thinking is nursed in the minds of kids and this might be a kind of deceptive covering. Especially for younger children, they might be led to build fantasies around this thought which will cause them even more pain when they come to the full realization.
2. Co-parenting Causes Instability
Obviously, it is rare to see two adults who are divorced, living together. In most cases, the termination of marriage usually indicate physical separation and distance. What co-parenting brings is that kids will have to be shuffling between one home and another. If it is a situation where the kids reside with neither parents, this implies more movement. The implication of this is that children do not get to settle in one place. They will have to frequently change their base. If parents are far apart, they will be exposed to the risk of having to travel long distances. There is high instability surrounding all these.
3. Children Might Be Faced With Inconsistencies
Even though some parents will decide to practice co-parenting, not all of them are mentally strong and committed to handle it. This way, we find that plans are not being adhered to, schedules are not being met and so on. One parent may even forget a function entirely. Imagine that kids were to be picked from school by a certain parent on a certain day and he or she gets carried away by work and probably the kids might have been dropped off by another parent. There are just too many issues that may come up from this. The very fact that the parent are not living together will create a lot of deficiencies and distortion which will adversely affect the children.
4. Devaluation Of The Home
The promotion of co-parenting makes a mockery of the significance of the home. Co-parenting makes it look like people do not even need to stay together in love since most of the functions of the home can still be realized in a co-parenting situation. This gives less credence to family living and create wrong notions and ideas about the home in the minds of children. With the practice comes a level of disregard for the sanctity of marriage. Where many begin to think that at anytime one has any grievance, the marriage can be dissolved since there are “easy” ways of dealing with the children
Talking of idealism, co-parenting would not even be an option. A man and wife were supposed to stay together and oversee the development of their children. Unfortunately, due to human frailties and negative attitudes, marriages are no longer able to hold their grounds amidst varying degrees of storms.
As an alternative, the practice of co-parenting has been introduced and advanced by various quarters. This is in an attempt to remedy the sorry situation that most broken homes find themselves with particular attention to children. Sadly, this innovation and imitation is plagued with some critical deficiencies as discussed above and more.
Therefore, it is necessary that parents weigh their options logically and rationally before proceeding to terminate their union. Also, careful attention needs to be paid to all the intricacies and uncertainties that surround co-parenting before it is adopted.
photo credit: Medium