When it comes to relationships, it is necessary to know that every happiness and joy you need is not found in that person you are waiting for. But happiness should be in you and then extend to the person with whom you are getting into a relationship with.
A whole lot of persons get into a relationship for a number of wrong reasons. Let us have a look into these two couples. Rachel has had her heart broken a number of times; it has resulted to her being sad most of the time. This has made her to be careful not to jump into relationships, at the same time she is expectant that the right person will make her happy again. Then she meets Michael; a gorgeous jaw dropping gentleman. Who cares and loves her so much. He is like an answer to her prayers. She finds that anytime she is with him, she is always happy. She spends most of her time with Michael because she feels safe and whole with him. Michael appreciated the fact that Rachel depends on him. But he looks forward to when she will find happiness in who she is and be confident about it.
Now here is Lucy; she’s had her fair share of heart broke, disappointments. But she decides to take sometime off relationships instead of jumping into one immediately. She spends more time discovering her potential; she adds more value to herself through personal self development. As she experiences growth and discovers her self worth. She is happy with herself, confident in her abilities.
She meets Joseph; He is a go-getter; someone whose value resonates with hers. Anytime they get together to talk; she goes home energised to push herself harder.
She encourages him to do more, he respects her personal space. They both find out they are happy together. There is an overflow of love and understanding from one person to the other. Both of them add to each other so that none is deficit of happiness. Their relationship is healthy, they are happy. They were meant to be together.
The two scenarios look almost the same, but not the same. Ever considered the fact that whether a person is meant for you or not, could be more dependent on you than the person? Some persons just have a bucket list of what they want in a person. I would say a wish list. You will see something like;
- A romantic
- A gorgeous person
- One who values and respects me
- One who gives me peace of mind.
And the list goes on; now these things are really something to hope for and to look forward to in a relationship. But when we put them off till we get into a relationship it becomes a problem. The huge roles we have well planned out in our heads for the person who comes into our lives becomes an issue.
When you fail to take care of yourself, and act in ways that you are not expected; when you neglect the place of personal development as a way of placing value on yourself until you meet someone or get into a relationship; it becomes a problem.
It should be that you are a very whole person, happy as a single doing your own thing until the “right” person comes into your life. Right in the sense that you are ready, that his goals resonates with yours. That both of you are two independent beings that want to come together to form a healthy interdependent relationship.
Is he/she the right person for you should rather be turned to, I’m I the right person for him/her. You would not want to have a parasitic relationship where you are always taking and never giving. Where you are emotionally bankrupt and your partner takes up the role of feeling you up or making sure you are whole again. That task is draining and should not be placed on anyone. If such happens people eventually get tired of being at the receiving end and eventually leave the relationship.
“Is he the right person for me?” Should be a personal soul searching, a right preparedness geared towards action so as to have a successful and healthy relationship.
Photo Credit: Grown And Flown