One critical concept in human existence is parenting. As a matter or fact, parenting is one single factor that dictates a great deal of other phenomena in human society. Almost every human is a result of parenting. Thus, a good society or a bad one is very often a result of the principles of parenting that is being practiced.
Kids are the central focus when parenting is being discussed because they are the primary objective of all parenting process. This parenting is a responsibility of the parents. Thus comes the big question; what happens to kids whose parents have divorced or separated?
Sadly, a great number of marriages are breaking apart in recent times. This has left the duty of parenting in great distress and deficiency. It has often been stated that kids are the worst affected by broken homes. Even some statistics support this claim.
Kids face a lot of issues when their parents are no longer together. It is even worse in cases of infants and teenagers. One critical disservice that separation of any kind does to kids is to rid them of the needed model of marriage and family. The crucial role of the home has already been established and extolled by many, which makes it necessary for the right image of a family to be portrayed to kids. However, in a broken home this image will be lacking and kids may grow up with distorted ideas of what a home should be.
In many other instances, this conflict between parents often hinder them from getting emotionally involved in their children’s life as is supposed to be. They become distant and detached and may only attend to their kids superficially. That deep connection and emotional care which is very vital for the growth, development and all-round well being gets missing. This is a very critical deficiency as kids who lack this emotional support and care usually turn out to be wanting in one area of character or another.
The need for attention is inherent in all human beings and highly prominent in kids. However, when there is a separation in the home, the level of attention reduces greatly. In most cases, the children will have to grapple with the absence of one or both of the parents. When there is a separation, many parents usually cease to stay together, meaning the children will have to spend more time with one of the parents than the other. In worst cases, the children are even sent to third parties to carter for them. As such, the children lack the physical presence, comfort and attention from their parents.
At times, with the break in the union of parents, come a halt in provision of basic necessities of life to kids. In many broken homes, the parents make the big mistake of stepping out of their kids’ life and abandoning their physical roles. Some even neglect to provide education, food and other needs. Mostly, by becoming uninterested or failing to have an understanding between themselves, the kids are left to suffer and bear the brunt of the separation.
Another evil that separation does is destabilizing the life of kids. In many instances, the kids may have to relocated to new environments, enrol in new schools or even drop out, get new caregivers and so on. A number of drastic changes are effected into the ones calm and smooth life of kids. All these alterations distort the life of kids and at times may lead them develop negative tendencies and attitudes in response to these unfamiliar state of affairs.
Still in this, is the absence or total lack of necessary moral development and discipline which is usually deficient when parents are not together. In cases of separation, the kids are usually pampered in hope of reducing the pains they feel from the separation. This usually culminate to acute loss of discipline and necessary moral upbringing that kids should have. This in the long run may negatively affect the children.
On the whole, there are not many positive outcomes from broken homes for children. Whereas, many children left to suffer one form of lack or another. Infact, this sorry situation has been highlighted in many areas of life, like in music when the likes of the late Lucky Dube sang “born to suffer”. Truly, the plight of the children should always be considered before parents hastily decide to end things between themselves. This way, less damaged and defective children will be released into the society.
Photo Credit: Focus On The Family