Love, Love , Love !!!! It is a word that looks quite simple, but to some it is the most complicated phenomenon they’ve come across. So here are two friends, who have been close for a while being best friends and all. The lady finds that she is attracted to her friend. He’s got everything she could ever want in a guy, the guy feels the same way too. They both confess their love to each other, and their relationship evolves.
They begin to make plans for the future, the jobs they will eventually get, the city they would both live in, their wedding plans, the well thought out honeymoon get away and even the number of children they would like to have. Everything seems settled, the future is certain, they seem to be going the same direction and the bond is so strong it cannot be broken.
Then it happens, the guy doesn’t feel like they were meant to be together. The lady is confused about what she has done wrong. The following weeks seem like eternity as they try to reconcile their differences, but nothing seems to work. Then they drift apart, and there is a falling out.
This story sounds familiar right? The fact that two people deeply in love with each other become strangers in a blink of an eye. So here begs the question, what happens when love doesn’t go our way? When it looks like we would have to pick up the pieces and build again which oftentimes isn’t so easy.
Here goes the answer to that question;
The first step is to heal from the hurt. People often find themselves stuck after a broken relationship. Often plagued with guilt, they find it difficult to forgive themselves and to move on. If love doesn’t go our way, we owe ourselves the responsibility of forgiveness and moving on. If the other party was in the wrong, we would have to forgive them too. Without forgiveness, one would find that he is not clear-headed enough to make vital plans and decisions.
Second; letting go. This step isn’t so easy being that we’ve come a long way with this person. And often it seems we have based our happiness and our well-being on the other person. We have to remind ourselves that happiness is not in that person, true that person made us happy but happiness is not out there. It is embedded in you, you would discover that when you spend more time with yourself.
Here is another point “Love will always find you”. You know after a hurt, people develop opinions about love. Like saying love is cruel, I will never ever love. But be duly reminded that love is a beautiful thing, and that you would meet that special someone out there. Another thing that helps is the fact that we wouldn’t want to punish the next person that we would be involved with by hardening our hearts towards them.
The next point here is “The Pride doesn’t cut it principle”. Wow, you may say what is this? I will tell you. Some persons, after a breakup look for something to castigate or to make their former partner look less. You will hear some say, she was not that visionary. He was too short. No one’s going to like her because she is too tall anyway. The list goes on and on. But the comparison and the pride only takes us back ward. So we ease our minds of those.
The next step is bouncing back. The mistake people make after a falling out is, the loose their vision; the big plans and dreams they had before a partner and during a relationship. Their whole world becomes bleak, void of colour and aspiration. They just live, everyday with no zeal to thrive. Whether your love works out or not, you are not defined by that and you should not be kept back by that. You need to bounce back. Now you have no distractions, no second thoughts about some life issues. It is the right time to pursue your dreams and goals with every gusto.
So what happens when love does not go our way? We live life to the fullest. We practice forgiveness, we build strength. We learn the art of being happy with ourselves. There is so much more to gain from life after a falling out, so much horizons to explore.
Sometimes, when love doesn’t go our way, it may mean that we are not ready yet. That we have a thing or two to do, some habits to shred off, some connections to build and the likes. When love does not go our way, we are not afraid because we know that there is so much MORE.
Photo Credit: Times Of India