For a man and a lady to pair up together as partners and lovers is a very common thing among human beings all over the globe. Though, we would have thought that this was a thing exclusive to adults, today, teenagers and even children engage in some form of relationship or another. This is an issue for another time.
For this particular article, I want us to look at how two consenting adults engage in a relationship that spans multiple years without taking a major step in any particular direction whether forward towards consummation or backwards towards termination.
Protracted relationship as is used here is a simple reference to a union that has been on for too long without any clear purpose or vision. Here, the parties remain together, still executing mutual obligations towards each other, yet, not taking any significant decision about the status of their relationship.
I would want to believe that anyone who ventures into any endeavour is doing so to be able of make progress and achieve one or two things. Therefore it gets quite baffling when I notice two grown adults persisting together under the umbrella of dating, courtship or engagement for two long a time.
On the surface, this may not look like much of an issue. However, taking a deeper look at it, it becomes obvious that there is something amiss. Normally, no couple would want to be in a relationship longer than necessary. So, what could possibly be the reason for this? How has this relationship existed for all these years without anything solid being done? How and why has relationship been prolonged for all that time?
Reasons For Prolonging A Relationship
From a close observation of trends and patterns, I have been able to detect some tendencies that produce most of the protracted relationships we have. We are going to consider a few of them below.
1. Hoping For Better Days
A little optimism is not harmful in anyway. Still, it is evident that due to hope and faith a whole lot of things have has spoilt. Partner in a relationship work with the assumption that fortune is going to favour so they could finally setle down together. Maybe there are parental disapproval, frictions between the partners even though they both love themselves profuselynd the like dear. This act of hoping and waiting can subsequently result in a long, protracacted union.
2. Trying To Meet A Target
Setting of goals is a human trait. Quite often, you will hear someone saying I will do when I do this and so on. So, pursuing a target is not a new thing to us. Unfortunately, in pursuing these targets we sometimes allow crucial aspects of our lives to suffer. Maybe we must have predicted that once we are at these stages we will in into our family lives. Sadly though, it is only few persons that actually get back to arranging their family life once they have actually met their target.
3. Unstable Finances
Love is not about money. Yet, the truth remains that without money, there cannot be a functional home. In fact, you cannot even legalize marriage without having sufficient money. With this in mind, many potential couples usually push forward plans to become man and wife. In doing this however, the months and the years roll fast by without notice.
4. Fear Of Commitment
This will not sit very well with most of us, but it is the truth. While in a relationship duties and roles can easily be shifted and overlooked without much issues as there is less scrutiny attached to a relationship unlike marriage. Resorting to the excuse that nothing firm has been agreed upon makes it simple to shy away from potential responsibilities on both the part of the man and the lady.
Many people abhor commitment. They would not want to be held accountable or demanded to fulfill any duties. Thus, they choose to enjoy the comfort and freedom of dating or courtship. That way, they can enjoy the benefits if being with someone while avoiding the duties that it demands both financially or otherwise.
So as you can see, it is not very far fetched what makes people remain in a dating relationship or courtship for too long. It might be that those involved do not even know what is causing this. In whatever angle, this is not the way things are supposed to be done. As such, if you are finding yourself in this situation, you can start looking for solutions. You can definitely do better.