I am still in search of a concept or subject matter that draws so much attention and causes so much controversy as the topic of marriage. If you are considering the origin of marriage in biblical sense, you will remember how Adam pushed the blame on God for giving him a wife. Serious issues are associated with marriage.
In our contemporary era, there is a raging argument on two radical extremes; the sympathizers of the male folk and that agitators of women’s rights and equality. Who is the primary beneficiary in a marriage union, the man or the lady? This argument stems from the attitude of people to lay claims and establish rights. The male folk posit that they are being benevolent by committing their money and resources to bring a lady to their house. The ladies present their story as they being kind enough to agree to come and assist the helpless men put themselves in order and achieve something for themselves. This debate has been going on for a decades now.
For the sake of this article, it is necessary for you to bear in mind that we are discussing marriage between two heterosexual man and woman. No aspect of this article directly or indirectly addresses same sex marriage. What is the objective stance on this? Solving this question will require us to answer some other questions and then we will deduce from these questions to draw a conclusion.
So, let us begin Was marriage structured to be one sided? As Christians, I believe in the account of the Bible about marriage. Looking at the accounts of the Bible, no one can concretely assert that the institution of marriage was such that it leaned more to one side than the other. Marriage is seen as a union of two separate individuals to become one. There is no mention of one party being better favoured than the other. As such, as will be subsequently seen, everyone had full participation in the marriage affair.
Also, from history, marriage was a consolidation of an agreement between two parties. There are no special hierarchy or ranking. The persons in marriage are called partners. Is one party more responsible for the marriage than the other? One might argue that more duties are placed on one party, which in this case will seem obviously to be the man, than the other party, the woman. In fact, a large population of people will readily give this opinion as reply to the question above.
On a critical assessment, it is not easy to point exactly where the scale tilts to in terms of responsibility in marriage. It is true that mostly, it is the man’s job to go hunting for his bride. Also, he is the one to institute the marriage process.
Furthermore, the man is saddled with the duty of providing for the needs of his wife as well as his entire family. All these duties are huge ones and as such has very pressing demand on the man. Similarly, the woman has the duty of submitting to the man, catering for her husband, carrying pregnancies, nurturing and looking after kids. She attends to all members of the home as well as ensure that there is smooth running of home.
Looking at these variables, there is no role having higher magnitude than the other. Both the man and woman is assigned a unique set of roles. These roles are such that may not be exchanged or swapped. Like the man cannot be asked to undertake child birth. In similar way, the woman is not expected to be handling strenuous tasks. These peculiar tasks are assigned by the simple, yet vital forces of biology and nature.
Who holds the higher rights in marriage?
After getting married, some partners begin to lay claims to some aspect of the marriage. The man or woman might claim to it’s children, the house or some other item of the marriage. It is true that most times, due to the initial investment men usually put in. At times, partners may feel this entitlement because they feel they are doing the other party a favour.
However, in reality, no one partner can claim to be in charge of a union than the other. Both parties hold equal stake. The marriage bond binds the two partners on the same level. As such, there is no one who is better placed than the other. Conversely, considering the answers to the subquestions given above, it can be deduced that marriage is a concept of equality.
In Marriage, age difference, finances, efforts and so on are immaterial. Thus, the marriage by two persons, for two persons, for the benefit of the two persons. Accordingly, the idea that one person enjoys the union than the other. So, after careful analyses, it is safer to keep in mind that marriage is better enjoyed on the grounds of equality and balance.