There are churches in Nigeria that don’t permit brides getting married with pregnancy. This is because they believe that only two people – the woman and her husband, should be wedded and not three (the woman, her husband and the baby). They believe that getting married while pregnant will bring a curse on the woman because, she’s supposed to be presented to her husband as holy and sanctified. They clearly warn intending couples to steer clear off sex so as not to be tempted because, the instant the bride is discovered to be pregnant on her wedding day, the wedding is either cancelled or postponed till the woman gives birth.
Sometimes, depending on how insistent the couple is, the church can do marriage blessings for the couple. Then, imagine the long stares and the silent booing the bride gets while walking down the aisle with her BABY bump. People begin to look at and treat her as an outcast or one who has committed the worse of sins. They fail to realise that she may not have planned for things to go that way but, the wedding just had to continue. They don’t know the circumstances that led to her getting pregnant before marriage and, as such, they criticize her for acting foolishly.
Truth is, no one plans for any of these to happen. They don’t just wake up one morning and decide that the woman should wed with pregnancy. It happened because two mature and consenting adults had sex and the woman got pregnant so, she shouldn’t be the only one sharing in the blames. She shouldn’t be the only one bashed by the society for what they term to be abnormal. People make their choices and, they should be held liable for them; not blaming it on the society or any other person out there.
This is not to say that getting married with pregnancy is a good thing in itself but, couples shouldn’t be bashed and jeered at for the choices they deliberately chose to make. It’s already enough trouble for the bride that there’s no bridal gown anywhere that is specifically fashioned to fit a pregnant woman so, she has to buy a bridal gown and does some fittings to ensure it suits her well. The pregnant bride is one and the same with any other bride out there.
By: Nonye Uwandi