Everyone expresses and receives love in different ways, for some, a thoughtful present may mean the world, a small touch may feel stronger than a thousand word to another, to some, a little help, going out of your way to help them, then others, compliments, how well do you understand your partner’s love language? Love language does two things, it helps you identify how to love and be loved by your partner, friends, colleagues, family. It helps you identify your love zone and what makes people come into it.
According to Dr. Gary Chapman, the marriage counselor and relationship expert, he wrote a book on the subject “Concept of 5 major love languages, Love languages are ways of expressing love on Emotional level, Here, he discovered the five major love languages and believes everyone speaks at least one or two, it’s super important to understand your partner’s love language. If you speak chinese and your partner speaks French, it’s impossible to convey a message or communicate without understanding yourselves, so it’s important you learn and understand the language he/she speaks, when you understand yourselves, you’ll find out that your relationship will be vibrant, flourish and remain healthy with little misunderstandings, the concept of these five love languages will be very useful in helping us understand ourselves and our partners in our relationship. Below are the five love languages.
- Words Of Affirmation: Does your partner enjoy compliments? Some partners want to hear compliments like you care about them, you love them, vocalize your feelings to them often, speak your love loud to them, it shows how much you care about them, this may be difficult for people who keeps their feelings or don’t express it this way, but if your partner has this love language, expressing yourself this way is the key to their heart, let them know they look nice after dressing up, if they cook, express it by telling them you enjoy their meal and their hearts will melt, compliment them regularly, tell them how pretty and amazing they are because this is the only way they feel loved.
- Acts Of Service: Those little acts or favours from your partner means alot, they appreciate you more if you do stuff for them without sometimes even without them having to ask for it, do things with them, running errands, some partners appreciates little things like making them breakfast, helping out with chores, writing letter notes, doing laundry, helping out with projects, picking kids from school, just going out of your way to help them makes them feel loved, basically being kind to them with words, anything outside this means nothing to them.
- Quality Time: For partners in this category, all they crave for is your undivided attention, they always want to be around you at every opportunity they get, nothing beats time spent together for them, if your partner enjoys spending time with you, nothing else matters to them whether you gift them the most expensive gift in the world, it still doesn’t make any difference to them, giving them your undivided attention, sitting ,talking and having one-on-one conversation, they just want you around them, making eye contact and taking a walk together means the world to them.
4. Receiving Gifts: Does your partner cherish every gift you give them, you don’t necessarily need to break bank for them to appreciate, it may be something as tiny as an apple and this melts their hearts, in many partners, giving gifts is the perfect way to show your love, gifts represents the feelings of the gift’s giver, if your partner has this love language, the best you can do is think of what to always gift them, also know that it’s not about how expensive the gift is, but how much efforts you put into it, a thoughtful and emotional gift means more than it’s prize tag, the cost doesn’t matter but the thought, this tells them how much you think about them.
5. Physical Touch: Partners in this category likes to cuddle and generally just be in physical connection, It’s about physical connection not physical intimacy, they like to hold hands everywhere, some partners don’t like to be touched in public but this set of people don’t mind if it’s in public. Physical touch is important on a social situation, a little contact with them reminds them that you value their company, physical touch here is not limited to sex, so you have a duty to intentionally display this ,give them hugs, kiss before work, hold their hands, for partners without this language, it might seem very small, but those in this category, one touch is all you have for them.
Now that you know your love Languages, think about these in your partner’s perspective, can you identify them in your partner? go ahead and find your partner’s primary love language, speak it, let them feel loved and appreciated, focus on making your partner happy, when you know better, you do better.