Being in a relationship is a great and an interesting Experience and no doubts about that, but just because you want to be in a relationship doesn’t mean you’re ready for one, relationship is not only about love & romance, it involves alot of responsibilities as well, it needs your time and sometimes money, therefore, it’s important for you to figure out if you’re fully ready for it before you begin one, else you’ll make yourselves feel unhappy and unfulfilled. The following are signs that could serve as warning that you probably need to take care of some issues before starting one.
- It Is very Important That You Get Over Your Previous Relationship
This is where the journey to getting ready for a relationship starts and I tag it “the big one”, Be sure not to mourn your ex at this point, if you haven’t gotten over him/her You may not be able to start a good relationship that has a good chance of success, if you’re still mourning your ex it means you might want to date as a means to get over them or in a bit of making him/her jealous, if you’re hoping on giving him/her another chance, then there’s no point thinking of starting a new relationship.
2. Be Sure You Know What You Want Out Of Your Whole Life
Relationship is not always about Marriage and having kids, it’s a great goal to think these two but if you make this your ultimate goal and you feel you won’t be happy until this happens, then you might be putting yourself up for disappointment because alot of couples are out there, married with kids but their life is miserable, that’s not the key to happiness though it sometime brings happiness of course, if you’re just basing your entire existence and happiness on the idea of marriage and having kids, then you may not be ready cause it’s much greater than that, I’m not saying marriage/ family isn’t important but it’s an aspect of your life and not a whole life, God forbid, you’re married and your spouse passes away, your kids will eventually grow up and move out to have their lives, the most important thing here is understanding your purpose in life, your destiny, are you living a fulfilled life? Yes, you may not have it all figured out at the time but you’re definitely heading somewhere, instead of “oh, I just want to get married and have kids” when you’re not happy, get married out of desire and not desperation.
3. Self Love
Practice self love, if you can be happy yourself without making it seem one person somewhere has the key to your happiness, once you understand you don’t need anyone to make you happy, develop self love, yes, we all need people around us at some point of our lives, they shouldn’t be your whole world but a part of it, if you feel if this person leaves, you cannot do without them, you may die, that shows you’re not ready, the biggest indication here is when you do not need someone else to dictate your happiness or make you happy, understand it’s your obligation to teach the person who desires you” how to love you” now, when there’s no self love, it creates space for insecurity and insecurity put strains on relationship, when there’s no self love, it affects the level of trust you have for others and this goes as far as never letting you believe when a person fully gives you his/ her heart because you don’t understand this.
4. Emotional Stability
Check Yourself, Do you have the space to accommodate new relationship? If No, it’s unfair to invite someone into your heart, a heart that’s already occupied, you have to be emotionally available, resolve those issues in your heart, free your mind also learn from those mistakes in your previous relationship, be excited about this new one you’re about starting, do the inner work, work on yourself and then you’re ready.
5. Be Self Fulfilled
You don’t need to wait for who would come rescue you from your shallow life, develop yourself, let there be something you’re doing before that person comes in, establish yourself else you’d live your life based on what he/she does, when you’re happy, whole and complete, these makes you self fulfilled, bring to the table what you expect from the table, be proud of what you too can offer, look yourself in the mirror and believe you have value, strength, purpose and power.
Many people drag along alot of baggages from their previous relationships into a new one, if your trust has been betrayed in previous relationship, it’s natural to fear that this could happen again, this could cause you to look for signs of unfaithfulness even when there are none, example, trying to read your partner’s email or text messages, you’re not being trust worthy, every new relationship means a new beginning.
7. Feeling Pressured To Start A New Relationship
For most people, commitment might not be a problem for them because they already know how important it is in every relationship, but you might be Pressured to commit to a relationship from people in your life, like family and friends who pops questions like” When are you getting married”? Sometimes, the fear of being alone might be putting you under unnecessary duress, whatever the reason, starting a relationship just to release these pressure is not the best, being single sometime can be a conscious choice that makes sense for you at anytime, being single does not mean being lonely. However, give it a chance when you feel ready while you keep waiting and working on being that better person you want, it’s okay to be single, it’s isn’t so bad, neither being in a relationship despite what social media would have you believe, find your own life, build your own strength, do things you always wanted to do before getting attached.