If you have been following our site, you must have read the other article about this subject. Due to its broadness, there is need for us to dwell a little more on other aspects of this discourse. What advantages and disadvantages proceeds from the presence of a third party in a relationship? What traits or credentials should a third party possess? How do we deal with the inevitable third parties hovering round about us? These are a critical questions bothering the minds of many people. So that we can keep in perspective of what we are dealing with, let us try to formally explain this concept. Aside from all the legal or commercial ideas that might be popping up in one’s mind whenever third party is mentioned, there are other definitions.
Officially, according to Oxford Dictionary a third party is someone only incidentally or tangentially connected to an incident or dispute; someone other than the principals; a bystander or independent witness. This would mean someone other that the couples, who comes into the relationship on a temporary basis to perform a particular duty such as settling dispute.
Are third party involvement inherently bad? Can they help our relationship to flourish? Why do we need third parties? Truly, this issue has many facets to it. With the high criticism the concept of third parties involvement in a relationship has received, it is important that we also view it in light of the benefits it has. Let’s look at some of them.
Objectivity: A credible third party, brings to the table a high level of objectivity that must have eluded the partners on certain issue. Based on their emotional attachment and sentiments about the issue, the partners may not be able to analyze a particular issue on grounds of merit and rationality. However, a qualified third party is better disposed to view the issue in different perspective that may not appear obvious to the partners at the time.
Medium for Expression: A third party serves as an outlet for accumulated, staled and sucked-in emotions. He or she gives you the opportunity to express yourself as you wish, which may not be possible with your partner. Pent-up emotions can be freely shared and this brings a great degree of relief to the partners.
Protection: You must know of the spate of domestic violence, harassment, assault and emotional defrauding going on today. There abound numerous relationships that have these tendencies, as such, there is need for protection and intervention. This protection can be offered by a third party who serves as an arbitrator and witness.
Professionalism: Good enough, there exist now, well strategized trainings to qualify one as a Suitable third party. This is mostly on a official nature. Let’s say you guys which to bring in someone such as a councillor, an arbitrary or a therapist, you must ensure that such posses due qualifications.
How detrimental Can A third party Be?
In reality, this is the aspect that is mostly x-rayed and projected about this subject. To the prevalence some negative tendencies, third parties are thus being viewed in a very negative light. Let’s look at some prominent defects associated with third parties.
Betrayal: Quite often, a third party has come out to disappoint and betray the trust of the partners or one of the partners by exposing the information he or she has about them. This occurs very frequently in this age. Thus most people tend to dispise and abhor the idea of a third party in their relationship. We are sure it’s because what is not known, cannot be exposed. Secrets can only be secrets when not known by more than two.
Blackmail: It can happen that along the line, there is a fallout between the third party and the partners. One very potent weapon at the disposal of a third party is the information and details he or she knows about you. On many instances, fraudulent individuals have threatened couples or one of the partners with the information he or she has in order to get mostly financial or probably other benefits. It doesn’t necessarily need to be a fallout before a fraudulent person decides to blackmail you.
Taking Sides and Displaying Bias: Also common with family members and relatives, is the tendency to develop or harbor a likeness and invariable bias towards one partner. This subjective position of the third party make his or her actions, opinions and dispositions to be tilted and biased. Surely, no one will want to have such a third party linger on in their relationship. with some of merits and demerits of third parties highlighted above, one may wonder how feasible it is to estrange all possible third parties from their relationship. Read carefully the section below.
Can you really do without a third party?
This answer to this particularly question may not be as you would expect. If we want to be honest, there are times when our relationships cannot do without a third party. In most cultures parents usually attempt to exert some influence on the partners and this is accepted as the norm.Let’s not forget that, in our time, marriage or any relationship has been made to be a religious thing. As such, religious leaders and compatriot will tend to focus some beams of light on your union.
In brief, we want to belief that you have gleaned a lot of information to make an informed choice about a third party. My aim is not to take sides in this debate, but to offer you as much angles as possible that there are to this issue and let you decide. I want to belief that most of your questions have been answered.