A lot of folks have, overtime, been deceived into thinking that finding a suitable soulmate or partner is a walk in the park. What they actually don’t know is that what worked for A might not work for B because, everyone has their own time and season. In finding a suitable soulmate or partner, one must first table out his expectations of a partner and also what his incoming partner will enjoy from him/her. Avoid setting unrealistic expectations in order to avoid catastrophes both parties can’t handle.
Let’s look at the basic facts any youngster should consider when looking for a soulmate or partner:
1) YOUR VIEWS ON BOTH MAJOR AND MINOR STUFF
If you believe that it’s a woman’s place to constantly be in the kitchen doing stuff and the man’s duty is just mainly to provide for the homefront, by all means, get you a partner that either sees things the way you do OR whose views matches yours. Don’t be blinded by love and rushing emotions and stick with a partner whose ideas are “ALWAYS” conflicting with yours because, that is the beginning of an unending series of heartbreak for you two. If you both can’t get to agree on something, you don’t have any business being together in the first place.
2) YOUR BELIEFS ON LOVE AND ITS LIKES
What’s your take on the general concept of love? Is it a mere “rush rush” feeling that eventually wears off like a day-old make-up OR a commitment you want to keep and treasure? Is love an action OR a passive word to you? If you can successfully answer these questions on a positive, then, you can be rest assured that you can fight through any challenges that crops up in your relationship eventually.
3) YOUR TAKE ON CAREER AND FINANCE
If you are a career-minded man, would you also go for a career-minded lady OR, are you the type that is easily intimidated by a lady’s success; no matter how small it is? Do you subscribe to having joint accounts and do you encourage financial accountability with your partner? It’s very essential that intending partners iron out financial issues and be on the same page because, amongst the many things that splits lovers, financial issues are top. Sit your partner and talk with him or her about your financial background and foreknowledge and make sure you both land at the exact same spot.
4) CULTURAL AND RELIGIOUS DIFFERENCES
Do not, for the sake of love or whatever you feel for your partner, get into any sort of relationship or entanglement with a partner your family OR religious background will not permit you to be with. Now, your family shouldn’t necessarily decide your choice of partner but, in the long run, they have a role to play because, they can decide to make life a living hell for your partner. Does your religious background permit or restrict you from who or who not to mingle with? Ensure that you have all these checked before you go headlong with your intending partner.
5) EMOTIONAL, PHYSICAL AND INTELLECTUAL CONNECTION
Love is first a feeling before it becomes an action. Do you connect with your intending partner emotionally and psychologically? Is the something in you that ALWAYS ticks good each time you come across your partner? When you sit and have conversations, do you see and feel where your partner is coming from OR, are there a barrage of arguments raving through your head? What’s your intending partner’s intellectual capacity? Is it one that sits well with you OR constantly puts you off? Ensure you iron these out before making a move to date your partner. As much as its not good to discriminate, you shouldn’t be in a relationship with a partner you don’t connect with; at least, on 90%.
Basically, both parties should be on the same page. Life, as they say, isn’t a bed of roses but, if you and your partner can pull through, you both can make a beautiful bed with the roses. Following your heart is good thing but, taking your head along with you is VERY IMPORTANT!
By: Nonye Uwandi