What does it mean to truly forgive someone after they have wilfully offended you? What does it mean to say “I have forgiven you” even when you are reeling in pain and shedding tears together with it? That should mean that you have intentionally or voluntarily decided to change the negative feelings you have inside of you and the resulting attitude towards that person, regarding a crime they committed against you. Pardon them and waive any negative intent or desire to punish them, carry out any retribution or seek compensation whatsoever.
In reality, when we forgive, do we always do the above or say it just to please the people begging you to do so, ease off pressure on you, appear a good person in front of all or simply to make your aggressor calm, let their guard down and make it easy for vengeance.
Yes admittedly, it is very easy for you to ask someone to forgive a situation or offense until you are actually a victim and then understand their pains, what they were going through at that period and the anguish in thier heart. However, we can not keep punishing ourselves for the misdeeds of others even though we are the victim. The pain we went through to end up a victim is already enough to last a while, shall we then in the name of grudge and hate, extend our misery a lifetime?
As weird or anti logic as it may sound, when we forgive, we do ourselves more favour and good than our transgressor. We set ourselves free of all the pain and hate we drag along in our hearts, purge ourselves of any malevolent feeling or plan and move on with a clearer head and a lighter heart to face other important aspects of life.
Forgiveness does not mean you are weak or foolish. It takes a whole lot of strength and courage to let go and sometimes only the strong at heart can do that. Forgiveness does not also necessarily mean you should let your guard down again and fall victim a second time, no! You can actually truly forgive someone and if you feel they may take advantage and hurt you again, take valid steps to protect yourself, keep them afar and if you have to deal with them again, take precautions and be more careful in your ways.
Learn to let go of your grudge and forgive those who have hurt you, it projects you as the more mature and mentally stronger person. It also makes your offenders feel nothing ever gets to you. It’s not your fault they are the way they are or that they acted the way they acted, you were just being human and accommodating, don’t hold that against yourself. Forgive them and let the joke be on them, let them see you freely living, happy and moving forward. They will have to struggle with thier own conscience for what they have done and if they feel no remorse, never worry, karma is still in business. Forgive and set yourself free, do it for yourself.