Beware Of Ill (Over Sabi) Advisers

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These days, everybody seems to be a relationship adviser. Everyone is a relationship expert and knows how to make a relationship last long. They seem to know what you should do and what you shouldn’t. A lot of these experts can’t keep a responsible relationship for two months but they would give you rules and regulations, dos and don’ts of a healthy relationship.

You enter into a relationship, trying to wrap your hands around it and see if things will work out but it seems everyone else knows your partner better than you do. They see the red flags that you are not seeing and know what you should and shouldn’t have done in a particular situation.

Your feminist friends seem to know better, they are advising you on what you should have done during that argument. They go: “what rubbish! I can’t take that nonsense from a man, never! How can he say I should wash his clothes when I am not yet his wife, even if I am, I am not a slave.” They advice that you are too dull and submissive for a modern lady. They know what you should demand from him, how much he should have given you for something you needed, what you should do when you suspect he is cheating, what is expected of a man and how they should be tamed etc.

How about your misogynist friends, they seem to know what is expected of a woman. How they should behave, what they should do, when and how they should speak. They see you helping her out with chores or doing her laundry and it’s a taboo! “My guy you dey fuck up! How you go they wash clothes for woman, dey even wash her pant join?” They seem to know what you should have done during an argument, whether you should agree to what she tells you or not, how you should treat her. They brand you weak and docile for not taking charge of situations after all you are the man.

There are no single outlined or laid out patterns or rules on how any relationship or marriage should work. Everyone is different and unique therefore what works here may not work there. What works for Jane and John may not work for Judith and Jude, different strokes for different folks. Nothing is absolutely right or wrong in a relationship as far as two agree to it.

Stop letting strangers and friends plant thier opinion in your relationships and when they leave, you are left alone to face the music. In relationships and marriages, there are no rules, stop letting others define your relationship, personal life or partner for you, you are the one wearing the shoe, you alone know where it pinches.

Do not get it twisted, advices are good if they are sincere and come from and good source. Think it through and thorough, If you do not like what is going on in your relationship, find a way to fix it. However let your decisions not be a selfish input from a friend or so called expert advisers. Follow your heart and your guts, if there is need for changes or breakup, let it be your decision to make the changes or walk away. Avoid ingesting Ill advices from Ill minded friends. In the end, it’s your life not theirs.

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