Having talked about sex, lust and love in the past few days, today I want to talk about intimate relationships.
Relationships are simply the connections and associations that exist between any two persons or group of persons. An Intimate relationship is an interpersonal connection between two people which may involve emotional and sexual activity. Most intimate relationships involve lust and sex but not necessarily love. It is possible for two people to be in a mutually sexual relationship, understand what they want from each other and not involve emotional strings.
A healthy, complete and non toxic relationship will include both lust, sex, love and commitment. The commitment is what makes it binding and strong. Long lasting relationships don’t just happen, they take not just commitment but also compromise, forgiveness and a whole lot of effort. Relationships are not for the immature, it requires two mature minds constantly trying to make things work irrespective of their differences and misunderstandings.
It is easy to fall in love, lust over him or her, have sex and then declare a relationship. The real challenge is staying in love, rekindling the flames and passionate feelings that got you both going in the beginning. Developing over time, the communication skills, maturity and trusting love that drives a healthy and lasting relationship.
Communication and understanding the way your partner views love is key. Being able to engage in heart to heart discussions, expressing your self and what you feel. Letting your partner know what you want, how you like things, your expectations and fears, rather than assuming or feeling entitled will go a long way. People love and view love differently, that does not make thier versions of love bad.
A lady may feel angry that her partner did not notice the guy who was making passes at her while walking by. She feels jealousy is a good way to show love and protect the ones you care for. A man become frustrated that you do not appreciate his efforts in trying to get gadgets or appliances in the house fixed. He sees appreciation as a way to make someone feel they are loved. For others, the concept is different, so understanding your partner’s perspective and definition of love and how they prefer to feel it makes a whole difference.
A healthy relationship must come with respect for the other person’s feelings, ideas, opinions and right as human. Realise that in as much as you feel an ownership of their feelings and presence, you do not own them as a person or as human. So they do have a right to do things the way they seem suiting. A non toxic relationship includes trust, honesty, helping each other grow in different aspects of life, employing dialogue and compromise during conflicts rather that violence and abuse.
Developing strong friendship bonds, being fond of each other, playfulness and a deep sense of romance helps in making a relationship last longer. Also trying out new things, experiences and adventures, especially the ones that hikes your dopamine levels helps rekindle and reignite the feelings and passions you felt when you first fell in love and will keep the relationship going a long time.
Finally if you are not ready for commitment or the heartache that comes with it, you should not be going into relationships. You will encounter problems, arguments and fights, those are also characteristics of a normal healthy relationship. How you solve or resolve them matters. If and whenever you find yourself in a toxic or abusive relationship, please take a walk!