Breaking up from a serious relationship is never easy, especially if it’s one you shared very memorable times with and the love grew so strong you had your hopes high for the future. You try to let go but it is not just working. Your heart seems to have decided to punish you severely for falling too deep and expending to much energy, time, resources and emotions on one person.
So it keeps hurting like you are going to die and you wish it could all just be a prank. They would just come back to say “walaaaa I got you! I was only joking”. But they never do and reality keeps hitting your mind hard. Everything keeps coming to your head in a flash, you remember all the good times you shared, all the things you had to do because of them. You try to do a simple chore like wash plate and it reminds you of when you both were washing plates together and playing with it.
It continues like that and you are gradually getting convinced you can’t do without them. He or she is your life and the air you breath. You are considering going back to beg them to accept you back, even when it’s clear they are wrong. He or she is the one who hurt you but it does not matter, you just want your happiness back. You want the pain to go away so you can feel yourself again.
It is all in your head dear, your heart is whipping you based on the memories your head is supplying it. If you can find a way to stop those flash of memories, you will move on faster than you imagined. Let go of the memories and you will see that they are not the air you breath, you breath only oxygen! If they were bold enough to break up with you or they hurt you so much you called it off and they were hard hearted enough to watch you go instead of holding you back and sincerely apologising, then you can be surely strong enough to live without them.
However, in practice, the memories are not that easy to let go. Infact they just don’t go untill after a very long while, they may not even go until you die. The flashes will come every once in a blue moon, something will eventually remind you of them. You only learn to live with them, your memories make up who you are, they are yours and your identity.
All you have to do is accept the memories as they come, accept that they are part of you and have come to stay, accept that it has happened and it’s the past, tell yourself that is all they will ever amount to, memories! This way they will come less often with time. Let go of anything that reminds you of them and try moving with the people who love you, your friends and family. Take a break, hang out, relax and meet new people.
Make new memories and before you know it, time will fly, new memories will overwhelm the old ones and you will be free. You will even find that after a while, you may just randomly remember them and you will be like “wow! So I can stay this long without them”. It was the memories all along!