Ever wondered why relationships tend to go sour after going on for a while? Ever wondered why it seems some marriages have lost thier spark or initial flames? Sometimes it’s the attitude of partners involved, sometimes it’s life taking it’s toll, but most times it’s the partners relaxing and forgetting to keep doing the things they initially did, which created the spark and kept it flaming in the first place.
Partners tend to relax after a while with each other, especially married couples. This does not mean they no longer love each other, they just feel they have won the hearts of thier partners and there is no need to do more or impress that much again. Couples in marriage feel they have successfully bound their love interest to themselves forever, so what is the need for the stress of extra impressions anymore.
Suddenly the relationship begins to feel boring, the excitement is naturally gone, what remains is just routine. No more random whispers, no more gossips, no more kids play, no more random “I LOVE YOUs”. The quickies vanish, the gifts cease, affection goes invisible and attention only comes like irregular menstrual cycle. The flame is still on but the light is low. Sometimes partners interpret this as loss of love and when attention and excitement begins to wave from outside, infidelity may set in.
Couples should not stop doing the things that created excitement for them in the first place. We know life is hard, economy is bad, the kids have arrived, ambitions are waiting to be fulfilled, work is demanding, you are now probably used to the same old partner etc. Nonetheless, you still need to find a way and time to create new sweet memories in your lives. Life and its problems should not be an excuse, the age of the relationship should not either, rather it should be a propelling force to keep your spark flaming.
Never stop showing each other love, care, attention, affections, respect and loyalty. The ingredients with which you started the relationship should never cease. Getting used to your partner does not mean you have to relax, rather you should get used to doing the things you did in the beginning. This way there is always juice in the relationship and the bond will get stronger by age not weaker. That a child is maturing does not mean it should stop feeding, love feeds on these little things to grow. Don’t starve it.