Don’t Say No To Yourself Just To Say Yes To Others

This statement is tricky, but it also true. It is not to be confused with making responsible sacrifices for your loved ones and anyone else worth it. One way or the other, We make sacrifices every day, for our parents, siblings, children, partner, friends etc. Sometimes you have to deny yourself something to let others have it, as a sense of responsibility or just to show humanity. Making sacrifices and helping others is good.

However, displeasing yourself all the time to please others is actually bad, especially if the person will end up forgetting everything in the end. Denying yourself something and giving it to others is good, but completely cutting yourself off something to let someone else have it is wrong. They will be moving ahead while you remain stagnant.

Some people have short memories, so short that they are ready to shoot you in the face after sacrificing the whole world for them. Some people do not know what it may have taken you to sacrifice or let go what you have given to them, they just see it as every other help. These kind of people will not help you when you eventually need them too, they will end up trivialising what you did for them and find a way to push you away.

To put it in perspective, a brother or friend knocks at your door and begs you for N1,000, crying and stating all his or her very genuine and pitiable problems. That sum is the only money you have on you and just because you really pity them and want to help out, you give them your last cash. You starve for days while they solve thier problem. One day you are also in dire need of N500 and run to them for help. They say they only have N700 and really need to use it for something and can’t give it out. You beg, cry and explain your situation but they only apologise and suggest others ways you can get the money. Then you realise that they will not let go and you leave. They do not know what you went through for them to have the N1,000 you gave them and now won’t even return the same even if in thier case they still have something to keep.

Its okay to brake your back trying to help someone, but will they be there to push you around in your wheel chair? While trying help others move, make sure you are making a move yourself. Its good to push others up, but make sure you are dragging yourself along too. If there is little food at home, everyone is really hungry and you have to feed your children. Make sure you leave a little in the pot to pacify your belly and at least have the strength to look for more.

Not everyone will remember what you have done for them, even if they do, they may not understand the extent you went to, just to do so. If you are to sacrifice your education for a sibling, make sure you don’t stay an illiterate or a liability. If you are to lend someone money, make sure it’s not the one you are using to survive, no matter the problem. Don’t kill yourself to please another. If you are walking down the isle with someone, make sure you are happy to do so and not pleasing everyone else. If you are saying yes to someone, make sure you are not saying a big no to yourself.